Who I Help · Couples
Therapy for Couples
Most couples arrive not with a single crisis but with a familiar argument that keeps finding new material to attach itself to. Athena is Level 2 Gottman trained, and her work with couples starts by mapping that pattern precisely before trying to change it.
60-Minute Sessions · $250 · In Person or Telehealth in Utah
Assessment First
What a Gottman Assessment Actually Involves
A first couples session is largely joint conversation: how you met, what has changed, what brought you in now rather than a year ago. From there, the Level 2 Gottman framework guides a structured assessment: individual interviews, questionnaires about conflict style, friendship and shared meaning, and a close look at how you each currently handle disagreement. The point is not to assign blame but to build an accurate map of the relationship as it actually functions, rather than as either partner remembers it in the heat of an argument.
That assessment phase typically takes a few sessions before regular couples work begins. It can feel slower than partners expect when they are eager to fix something urgently, but it usually saves time later, because it prevents the work from chasing the wrong problem.
The Pattern
Pursue and Withdraw
One of the most common patterns couples bring in has a name: pursue and withdraw. One partner raises an issue, wants to talk it through immediately, and grows more anxious as the conversation stalls. The other partner feels cornered, shuts down or leaves the room, and grows more anxious as the pursuit intensifies. Both are reacting reasonably to what is happening in front of them, and both readings of the relationship, “you never engage” and “you never let anything go”, can be true at the same time.
Naming that cycle out loud, in the room, tends to lower its temperature almost immediately, because it stops being a referendum on the relationship and starts being a pattern with two participants and, eventually, an interruption point. Work then moves toward practicing a different response in that exact moment: a pause that does not read as abandonment, a request that does not read as an attack.
Ongoing Work
Perpetual Problems and Solvable Ones
A core distinction in Gottman-informed work is between problems that can be solved and problems that a couple will manage for the life of the relationship: differences in temperament, energy level, or how much closeness each person wants day to day. Treating a perpetual difference as a problem to be solved once and for all is a common source of exhaustion; the more sustainable goal is dialogue that keeps the difference from turning into gridlock.
Alongside that, sessions build repair skills for the moments conflict does escalate: recognizing early signs of contempt or criticism, making and accepting a repair attempt mid-argument, and rebuilding the friendship and appreciation that conflict tends to erode over time. Both partners are expected in the room consistently; this is not individual therapy conducted with an audience.
Athena does not treat substance abuse, grief, or OCD, and she is not a prescriber. She is licensed in Utah only, seeing couples in person in Salt Lake City or by telehealth anywhere in Utah.
Common Questions
Couples Therapy Questions
- Do both partners have to attend every session?
- Generally yes. Couples work is most effective when both partners are consistently present, though there may be individual check-ins built into the assessment phase depending on what the work calls for.
- What if we're not sure whether to stay together?
- That uncertainty is a common and workable starting point. Sessions can help clarify what is actually happening in the relationship before either of you commits to a direction, including deciding to separate.
- What is the Gottman assessment, exactly?
- It is a structured process of interviews and questionnaires that maps your relationship's specific patterns of conflict, connection and repair. It gives the work a clear starting point rather than guessing at what matters most.
- How much does couples counseling cost?
- Couples sessions are 60 minutes at $250. Select Health, BCBS, UBH and University of Utah Health Plans are accepted, and sessions are offered in person in Salt Lake City or by telehealth anywhere in Utah.
Start With the Contact Form
Either partner can send the initial contact form. Both of you will attend the first session together.